Wednesday, May 7, 2008

101 days!

Yep, I am leaving in 101 days. Right now it seems so surreal. Some days I cannot fall asleep because my mind is going a mile a minute, trying to decide what to pack, if I should come home for Christmas, how much I am going to miss Dan, etc. For example, what shoes should I bring? This is a very important decision. Do I really need my 4 inch black velvet cut-out wedges? Will I not want them so I can look fabulous while visiting Paris, Milan, etc? What about my 3 inch gold wedges? And do I need two pairs of black knee high boots (completely different, I swear)? You know, important stuff.

I feel a little detached from the whole situation, and I think I can pinpoint it. I really have not been in contact with the family this past week, I think that missing connection has impacted my mood a little... it is difficult to put into words.

Lately I guess I have felt like I have been out of touch with the whole world. Restless. When I talked to Dan about it, he gently said "Cam, you know you feel like that about every 3 months, right?" Yeah, it is true. I just get a little restless. And I want big adventures. But this time... I am actually kind of glad I am feeling like this right now. I am trying to enjoy my small world before my big adventure, and I am so very very aware of my small world right now. I am restless but content, eager to move on, but increasingly nostalgic. Paradigm. Whatever.

Pretty much I feel a lot of things that I cannot fully grasp.

If anyone has packing advice, please send it my way. I am going to ship some things, but I am only allowed one suitcase, at about 48 lbs. Eek.

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